Dickens' Christmas Spirits Page 15

  “I’m here, John!” she said, starting.

  “Come, come!” returned the Carrier, clapping his sounding hands. “Where’s the pipe?”

  “I quite forgot the pipe, John.”

  Forgot the pipe! Was such a wonder ever heard of! She! Forgot the pipe!

  “I’ll—I’ll fill it directly. It’s soon done.”

  But it was not so soon done, either. It lay in the usual place—the Carrier’s dreadnought pocket—with the little pouch, her own work, from which she was used to fill it; but her hand shook so, that she entangled it (and yet her hand was small enough to have come out easily, I am sure), and bungled terribly. The filling of the pipe and lighting it, those little offices in which I have commended her discretion, were vilely done, from first to last. During the whole process, Tackleton stood looking on maliciously with the half-closed eye; which, whenever it met hers—or caught it, for it can hardly be said to have ever met another eye: rather being a kind of trap to snatch it up—augmented her confusion in a most remarkable degree.

  “Why, what a clumsy Dot you are, this afternoon!” said John. “I could have done it better myself, I verily believe!”

  With these good-natured words, he strode away, and presently was heard, in company with Boxer, and the old horse, and the cart, making lively music down the road. What time the dreamy Caleb still stood, watching his blind daughter, with the same expression on his face.

  “Bertha!” said Caleb, softly. “What has happened? How changed you are, my darling, in a few hours—since this morning. You silent and dull all day! What is it? Tell me!”

  “Oh father, father!” cried the Blind Girl, bursting into tears. “Oh my hard, hard fate!”

  Caleb drew his hand across his eyes before he answered her.

  “But think how cheerful and how happy you have been, Bertha! How good, and how much loved, by many people.”

  “That strikes me to the heart, dear father! Always so mindful of me! Always so kind to me!”

  Caleb was very much perplexed to understand her.

  “To be—to be blind, Bertha, my poor dear,” he faltered, “is a great affliction; but—”

  “I have never felt it!” cried the Blind Girl. “I have never felt it, in its fullness. Never! I have sometimes wished that I could see you, or could see him—only once, dear father, only for one little minute—that I might know what it is I treasure up,” she laid her hands upon her breast, “and hold here! That I might be sure and have it right! And sometimes (but then I was a child) I have wept in my prayers at night, to think that when your images ascended from my heart to Heaven, they might not be the true resemblance of yourselves. But I have never had these feelings long. They have passed away and left me tranquil and contented.”

  “And they will again,” said Caleb.

  “But father! Oh my good, gentle father, bear with me, if I am wicked!” said the Blind Girl. “This is not the sorrow that so weighs me down!”

  Her father could not choose but let his moist eyes overflow; she was so earnest and pathetic, but he did not understand her, yet.

  “Bring her to me,” said Bertha. “I cannot hold it closed and shut within myself. Bring her to me, father!”

  She knew he hesitated, and said, “May. Bring May!”

  May heard the mention of her name, and coming quietly towards her, touched her on the arm. The Blind Girl turned immediately, and held her by both hands.

  “Look into my face, Dear heart, Sweet heart!” said Bertha. “Read it with your beautiful eyes, and tell me if the truth is written on it.”

  “Dear Bertha, Yes!”

  The Blind Girl still, upturning the blank sightless face, down which the tears were coursing fast, addressed her in these words:

  “There is not, in my soul, a wish or thought that is not for your good, bright May! There is not, in my soul, a grateful recollection stronger than the deep remembrance which is stored there, of the many many times when, in the full pride of sight and beauty, you have had consideration for Blind Bertha, even when we two were children, or when Bertha was as much a child as ever blindness can be! Every blessing on your head! Light upon your happy course! Not the less, my dear May;” and she drew towards her, in a closer grasp; “not the less, my bird, because, to-day, the knowledge that you are to be His wife has wrung my heart almost to breaking! Father, May, Mary! oh forgive me that it is so, for the sake of all he has done to relieve the weariness of my dark life: and for the sake of the belief you have in me, when I call Heaven to witness that I could not wish him married to a wife more worthy of his goodness!”

  While speaking, she had released May Fielding’s hands, and clasped her garments in an attitude of mingled supplication and love. Sinking lower and lower down, as she proceeded in her strange confession, she dropped at last at the feet of her friend, and hid her blind face in the folds of her dress.

  “Great Power!” exclaimed her father, smitten at one blow with the truth, “have I deceived her from her cradle, but to break her heart at last!”

  It was well for all of them that Dot, that beaming, useful, busy little Dot—for such she was, whatever faults she had, and however you may learn to hate her, in good time—it was well for all of them, I say, that she was there: or where this would have ended, it were hard to tell. But Dot, recovering her self-possession, interposed, before May could reply, or Caleb say another word.

  “Come come, dear Bertha! come away with me! Give her your arm, May. So! How composed she is, you see, already; and how good it is of her to mind us,” said the cheery little woman, kissing her upon the forehead. “Come away, dear Bertha. Come! and here’s her good father will come with her; won’t you, Caleb? To—be—sure!”

  Well, well! she was a noble little Dot in such things, and it must have been an obdurate nature that could have withstood her influence. When she had got poor Caleb and his Bertha away, that they might comfort and console each other, as she knew they only could, she presently came bouncing back,—the saying is, as fresh as any daisy; I say fresher—to mount guard over that bridling little piece of consequence in the cap and gloves, and prevent the dear old creature from making discoveries.

  “So bring me the precious Baby, Tilly,” said she, drawing a chair to the fire; “and while I have it in my lap, here’s Mrs. Fielding, Tilly, will tell me all about the management of Babies, and put me right in twenty points where I’m as wrong as can be. Won’t you, Mrs. Fielding?”

  Not even the Welsh Giant, who according to the popular expression, was so “slow” as to perform a fatal surgical operation upon himself, in emulation of a juggling-trick achieved by his arch-enemy at breakfast-time; not even he fell half so readily into the snare prepared for him, as the old lady did into this artful pitfall. The fact of Tackleton having walked out; and furthermore, of two or three people having been talking together at a distance, for two minutes, leaving her to her own resources; was quite enough to have put her on her dignity, and the bewailment of that mysterious convulsion in the Indigo trade, for four-and-twenty hours. But this becoming deference to her experience, on the part of the young mother, was so irresistible, that after a short affectation of humility, she began to enlighten her with the best grace in the world; and sitting bolt upright before the wicked Dot, she did, in half an hour, deliver more infallible domestic recipes and precepts, than would (if acted on) have utterly destroyed and done up that Young Peerybingle, though he had been an Infant Samson.

  To change the theme, Dot did a little needlework—she carried the contents of a whole workbox in her pocket; however she contrived it, I don’t know—then did a little nursing; then a little more needlework; then had a little whispering chat with May, while the old lady dozed; and so in little bits of bustle, which was quite her manner always, found it a very short afternoon. Then, as it grew dark, and as it was a solemn part of this Institution of the Pic-Nic that she should perform all Bertha’s household tasks, she trimmed the fire, and swept the hearth, and set the tea-board out, and drew the
curtain, and lighted a candle. Then she played an air or two on a rude kind of harp, which Caleb had contrived for Bertha, and played them very well; for Nature had made her delicate little ear as choice a one for music as it would have been for jewels, if she had had any to wear. By this time it was the established hour for having tea; and Tackleton came back again, to share the meal, and spend the evening.

  Caleb and Bertha had returned some time before, and Caleb had sat down to his afternoon’s work. But he couldn’t settle to it, poor fellow, being anxious and remorseful for his daughter. It was touching to see him sitting idle on his working-stool, regarding her so wistfully, and always saying in his face, “Have I deceived her from her cradle, but to break her heart!”

  When it was night, and tea was done, and Dot had nothing more to do in washing up the cups and saucers; in a word—for I must come to it, and there is no use in putting it off—when the time drew nigh for expecting the Carrier’s return in every sound of distant wheels, her manner changed again, her colour came and went, and she was very restless. Not as good wives are, when listening for their husbands. No, no, no. It was another sort of restlessness from that.

  Wheels heard. A horse’s feet. The barking of a dog. The gradual approach of all the sounds. The scratching paw of Boxer at the door!

  “Whose step is that!” cried Bertha, starting up.

  “Whose step?” returned the Carrier, standing in the portal, with his brown face ruddy as a winter berry from the keen night air. “Why, mine.”

  “The other step,” said Bertha. “The man’s tread behind you!”

  “She is not to be deceived,” observed the Carrier, laughing. “Come along, sir. You’ll be welcome, never fear!”

  He spoke in a loud tone; and as he spoke, the deaf old gentleman entered.

  “He’s not so much a stranger, that you haven’t seen him once, Caleb,” said the Carrier. “You’ll give him house-room till we go?”

  “Oh surely John, and take it as an honour.”

  “He’s the best company on earth, to talk secrets in,” said John. “I have reasonable good lungs, but he tries ’em, I can tell you. Sit down, sir. All friends here, and glad to see you!”

  When he had imparted this assurance, in a voice that amply corroborated what he had said about his lungs, he added in his natural tone, “A chair in the chimney-corner, and leave to sit quite silent and look pleasantly about him, is all he cares for. He’s easily pleased.”

  Bertha had been listening intently. She called Caleb to her side, when he had set the chair, and asked him, in a low voice, to describe their visitor. When he had done so (truly now; with scrupulous fidelity), she moved, for the first time since he had come in, and sighed, and seemed to have no further interest concerning him.

  The Carrier was in high spirits, good fellow that he was, and fonder of his little wife than ever.

  “A clumsy Dot she was, this afternoon!” he said, encircling her with his rough arm, as she stood, removed from the rest; “and yet I like her somehow. See yonder, Dot!”

  He pointed to the old man. She looked down. I think she trembled.

  “He’s—ha ha ha!—he’s full of admiration for you!” said the Carrier. “Talked of nothing else, the whole way here. Why, he’s a brave old boy. I like him for it!”

  “I wish he had had a better subject, John;” she said, with an uneasy glance about the room. At Tackleton especially.

  “A better subject!” cried the jovial John. “There’s no such thing. Come, off with the great-coat, off with the thick shawl, off with the heavy wrappers! and a cosy half-hour by the fire! My humble service, Mistress. A game at cribbage, you and I? That’s hearty. The cards and board, Dot. And a glass of beer here, if there’s any left, small wife!”

  His challenge was addressed to the old lady, who accepting it with gracious readiness, they were soon engaged upon the game. At first, the Carrier looked about him sometimes, with a smile, or now and then called Dot to peep over his shoulder at his hand, and advise him on some knotty point. But his adversary being a rigid disciplinarian, and subject to an occasional weakness in respect of pegging more than she was entitled to, required such vigilance on his part, as left him neither eyes nor ears to spare. Thus, his whole attention gradually became absorbed upon the cards; and he thought of nothing else, until a hand upon his shoulder restored him to a consciousness of Tackleton.

  “I am sorry to disturb you—but a word, directly.”

  “I’m going to deal,” returned the Carrier. “It’s a crisis.”

  “It is,” said Tackleton. “Come here, man!”

  There was that in his pale face which made the other rise immediately, and ask him, in a hurry, what the matter was.

  “Hush! John Peerybingle,” said Tackleton. “I am sorry for this. I am indeed. I have been afraid of it. I have suspected it from the first.”

  “What is it?” asked the Carrier, with a frightened aspect.

  “Hush! I’ll show you, if you’ll come with me.”

  The Carrier accompanied him, without another word. They went across a yard, where the stars were shining, and by a little side-door, into Tackleton’s own counting-house, where there was a glass window, commanding the ware-room, which was closed for the night. There was no light in the counting-house itself, but there were lamps in the long narrow ware-room; and consequently the window was bright.

  “A moment!” said Tackleton. “Can you bear to look through that window, do you think?”

  “Why not?” returned the Carrier.

  “A moment more,” said Tackleton. “Don’t commit any violence. It’s of no use. It’s dangerous too. You’re a strong-made man; and you might do murder before you know it.”

  The Carrier looked him in the face, and recoiled a step as if he had been struck. In one stride he was at the window, and he saw—

  Oh Shadow on the Hearth! 0 truthful Cricket! Oh perfidious Wife!

  He saw her, with the old man—old no longer, but erect and gallant—bearing in his hand the false white hair that had won his way into their desolate and miserable home. He saw her listening to him, as he bent his head to whisper in her ear; and suffering him to clasp her round the waist, as they moved slowly down the dim wooden gallery towards the door by which they had entered it. He saw them stop, and saw her turn—to have the face, the face he loved so, so presented to his view!—and saw her, with her own hands, adjust the lie upon his head, laughing, as she did it, at his unsuspicious nature!

  He clenched his strong right hand at first, as if it would have beaten down a lion. But opening it immediately again, he spread it out before the eyes of Tackleton (for he was tender of her, even then), and so, as they passed out, fell down upon a desk, and was as weak as any infant.

  He was wrapped up to the chin, and busy with his horse and parcels, when she came into the room, prepared for going home.

  “Now, John dear! Good night May! Good night Bertha!”

  Could she kiss them? Could she be blithe and cheerful in her parting? Could she venture to reveal her face to them without a blush? Yes. Tackleton observed her closely, and she did all this.

  Tilly was hushing the Baby, and she crossed and re-crossed Tackleton, a dozen times, repeating drowsily:

  “Did the knowledge that it was to be its wifes, then, wring its hearts almost to breaking; and did its fathers deceive it from its cradles but to break its hearts at last!”

  “Now Tilly, give me the Baby! Good night, Mr. Tackleton. Where’s,John, for goodness’ sake?”

  “He’s going to walk, beside the horse’s head,” said Tackleton; who helped her to her seat.

  “My dear John. Walk? To-night?”

  The muffled figure of her husband made a hasty sign in the affirmative; and the false stranger and the little nurse being in their places, the old horse moved off. Boxer, the unconscious Boxer, running on before, running back, running round and round the cart, and barking as triumphantly and merrily as ever.

  When Tackleton had gone off
likewise, escorting May and her mother home, poor Caleb sat down by the fire beside his daughter; anxious and remorseful at the core; and still saying in his wistful contemplation of her, “Have I deceived her from her cradle, but to break her heart at last!”

  The toys that had been set in motion for the Baby, had all stopped, and run down, long ago. In the faint light and silence, the imperturbably calm dolls, the agitated rocking-horses with distended eyes and nostrils, the old gentlemen at the street-doors, standing half doubled up upon their failing knees and ankles, the wry-faced nutcrackers, the very Beasts upon their way into the Ark, in twos, like a Boarding School out walking, might have been imagined to be stricken motionless with fantastic wonder, at Dot being false, or Tackleton beloved, under any combination of circumstance.

  CHIRP THE THIRD

  THE Dutch clock in the corner struck Ten, when the Carrier sat down by his fireside. So troubled and grief-worn, that he seemed to scare the Cuckoo, who, having cut his ten

  The Dutch clock in the corner struck ten, when the Carrier sat down by his fireside. So troubled and grief-worn, that he seemed to scare the Cuckoo, who, having cut his ten melodious announcements as short as possible, plunged back into the Moorish Palace again, and clapped his little door behind him, as if the unwonted spectacle were too much for his feelings.

  If the little Haymaker had been armed with the sharpest of scythes, and had cut at every stroke into the Carrier’s heart, he never could have gashed and wounded it, as Dot had done.

  It was a heart so full of love for her; so bound up and held together by innumerable threads of winning remembrance, spun from the daily working of her many qualities of endearment; it was a heart in which she had enshrined herself so gently and so closely; a heart so single and so earnest in its Truth, so strong in right, so weak in wrong; that it could cherish neither passion nor revenge at first, and had only room to hold the broken image of its Idol.