Captain Boldheart & the Latin-Grammar Master Read online

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  CAPTAIN BOLDHEART

  BY

  CHARLES DICKENS

  ILLUSTRATED BYBEATRICE PEARSE

  "Invited them to Breakfast"]

  CAPTAIN BOLDHEART& THE LATIN-GRAMMARMASTER

  A HOLIDAY ROMANCE FROMTHE PEN OF LIEUT-COL.ROBIN REDFORTHAGED 9.

  BY

  CHARLES DICKENS

  LONDON: CONSTABLE AND CO. LTD.

  FOREWORD

  The story contained herein was written by Charles Dickens in 1867. It isthe third of four stories entitled "Holiday Romance" and was publishedoriginally in a children's magazine in America. It purports to bewritten by a child aged nine. It was republished in England in "All theYear Round" in 1868. For this and four other Christmas pieces Dickensreceived L1,000.

  "Holiday Romance" was published in book form by Messrs Chapman & Hall in1874, with "Edwin Drood" and other stories.

  For this reprint the text of the story as it appeared in "All the YearRound" has been followed.

  CAPTAIN BOLDHEART AND THE LATIN-GRAMMAR MASTER

  The subject of our present narrative would appear to have devotedhimself to the Pirate profession at a comparatively early age. We findhim in command of a splendid schooner of one hundred guns, loaded to themuzzle, 'ere yet he had had a party in honour of his tenth birthday.

  It seems that our hero, considering himself spited by aLatin-Grammar-Master, demanded the satisfaction due from one man ofhonour to another. Not getting it, he privately withdrew his haughtyspirit from such low company, bought a second-hand pocket-pistol, foldedup some sandwiches in a paper bag, made a bottle of Spanishliquorice-water, and entered on a career of valour.

  It were tedious to follow Boldheart (for such was his name) through thecommencing stages of his history. Suffice it that we find him bearingthe rank of Captain Boldheart, reclining in full uniform on a crimsonhearth-rug spread out upon the quarter-deck of his schooner the Beauty,in the China Seas. It was a lovely evening, and as his crew lay groupedabout him, he favoured them with the following melody:

  O landsmen are folly! O Pirates are jolly! O Diddleum Dolly, Di! (_Chorus_) Heave yo.

  The soothing effect of these animated sounds floating over the waters,as the common sailors united their rough voices to take up the richtones of Boldheart, may be more easily conceived than described.

  It was under these circumstances that the lookout at the masthead gavethe word, "Whales!"

  All was now activity.

  "Where away?" cried Captain Boldheart, starting up.

  "On the larboard bow, sir," replied the fellow at the masthead, touchinghis hat. For such was the height of discipline on board of the Beauty,that even at that height he was obliged to mind it or be shot throughthe head.

  "His crew lay grouped around him"]

  "This adventure belongs to me," said Boldheart. "Boy, my harpoon. Letno man follow;" and leaping alone into his boat, the captain rowed withadmirable dexterity in the direction of the monster.

  All was now excitement.

  "He nears him!" said an elderly seaman, following the captain throughhis spy-glass.

  "He strikes him!" said another seaman, a mere stripling, but also with aspy-glass.

  "He tows him towards us!" said another seaman, a man in the full vigourof life, but also with a spy-glass.

  In fact the captain was seen approaching, with the huge bulk following.We will not dwell on the deafening cries of "Boldheart! Boldheart!" withwhich he was received, when, carelessly leaping on the quarter-deck, hepresented his prize to his men. They afterwards made two thousand fourhundred and seventeen pound ten and sixpence by it.

  Ordering the sails to be braced up, the captain now stood W.N.W. TheBeauty flew rather than floated over the dark blue waters. Nothingparticular occurred for a fortnight, except taking, with considerableslaughter, four Spanish galleons, and a Snow from South America, allrichly laden. Inaction began to tell upon the spirits of the men.Captain Boldheart called all hands aft, and said:

  "My lads, I hear there are discontented ones among ye. Let any suchstand forth."

  After some murmuring, in which the expressions, "Aye, aye, sir!" "UnionJack!" "Avast," "Starboard," "Port," "Bowsprit," and similar indicationsof a mutinous undercurrent, though subdued, were audible, Bill Boozey,captain of the foretop, came out from the rest. His form was that of agiant, but he quailed under the captain's eye.

  "What are your wrongs?" said the captain.

  "Why, d'ye see, Captain Boldheart," replied the towering mariner, "I'vesailed man and boy for many a year, but I never yet know'd the milkserved out for the ship's company's teas to be so sour as 'tis aboardthis craft."

  THE RESCUE OF WILLIAM BOOZEY.]

  At this moment the thrilling cry, "Man overboard!" announced to theastonished crew that Boozey, in stepping back, as the captain (in merethoughtfulness) laid his hand upon the faithful pocket-pistol which hewore in his belt, had lost his balance, and was struggling with thefoaming tide.

  All was now stupefaction.

  But, with Captain Boldheart, to throw off his uniform coat regardless ofthe various rich orders with which it was decorated, and to plunge intothe sea after the drowning giant, was the work of a moment. Maddeningwas the excitement when boats were lowered; intense the joy when thecaptain was seen holding up the drowning man with his teeth; deafeningthe cheering when both were restored to the main deck of the Beauty. Andfrom the instant of his changing his wet clothes for dry ones, CaptainBoldheart had no such devoted though humble friend as William Boozey.

  Boldheart now pointed to the horizon, and called the attention of hiscrew to the taper spars of a ship lying snug in harbour under the gunsof a fort.

  "She shall be ours at sunrise," said he. "Serve out a double allowanceof grog, and prepare for action."

  All was now preparation.

  When morning dawned after a sleepless night, it was seen that thestranger was crowding on all sail to come out of the harbour and offerbattle. As the two ships came nearer to each other, the stranger fired agun and hoisted Roman colours. Boldheart then perceived her to be theLatin-Grammar-Master's bark. Such indeed she was, and had been tackingabout the world in unavailing pursuit, from the time of his first takingto a roving life.

  Boldheart now addressed his men, promising to blow them up if he shouldfeel convinced that their reputation required it, and giving orders thatthe Latin-Grammar-Master should be taken alive. He then dismissed themto their quarters, and the fight began with a broadside from The Beauty.She then veered round, and poured in another. The Scorpion (so was thebark of the Latin-Grammar-Master appropriately called) was not slow toreturn her fire, and a terrific cannonading ensued, in which the guns ofThe Beauty did tremendous execution.

  The Latin-Grammar-Master was seen upon the poop, in the midst of thesmoke and fire, encouraging his men. To do him justice, he was noCraven, though his white hat, his short grey trousers, and his longsnuff-coloured surtout reaching to his heels--the self-same coat inwhich he had spited Boldheart--contrasted most unfavourably with thebrilliant uniform of the latter. At this moment Boldheart, seizing apike and putting himself at the head of his men, gave the word to board.

  A desperate conflict ensued in the hammock nettings--or somewhere inabout that direction--until the Latin-Grammar-Master, having all hismasts gone, his hull and rigging shot through and through, and seeingBoldheart slashing a path towards him, hauled down his flag himself,gave up his sword to
Boldheart, and asked for quarter. Scarce had hebeen put into the captain's boat, 'ere The Scorpion went down with allon board.

  On Captain Boldheart's now assembling his men, a circumstance occurred.He found it necessary with one blow of his cutlass to kill the Cook,who, having lost his brother in the late action, was making at theLatin-Grammar-Master in an infuriated state, intent on his destructionwith a carving-knife.

  Captain Boldheart then turned to the Latin-Grammar-Master, severelyreproaching him with his perfidy, and put it to his crew what theyconsidered that a master who spited a boy deserved?

  They answered with one voice, "Death."

  "It may be so," said the Captain; "but it shall never be said thatBoldheart stained his hour of triumph with the blood of his enemy.Prepare the cutter."

  The cutter was immediately prepared.

  "Without taking your life," said the Captain, "I must yet for everdeprive you of the power of spiting other boys. I shall turn you adriftin this boat. You will find in her two oars, a compass, a bottle of rum,a small cask of water, a piece of pork, a bag of biscuit, and my Latingrammar. Go! and spite the natives, if you can find any."

  Deeply conscious of this bitter sarcasm, the unhappy wretch was put intothe cutter, and was soon left far behind. He made no effort to row, butwas seen lying on his back with his legs up, when last made out by theship's telescopes.

  A stiff breeze now beginning to blow, Captain Boldheart gave orders tokeep her S.S.W., easing her a little during the night by falling off apoint or two W. by W., or even by W.S., if she complained much. He thenretired for the night, having in truth much need of repose. In additionto the fatigues he had undergone, this brave officer had receivedsixteen wounds in the engagement, but had not mentioned it.

  In the morning a white squall came on, and was succeeded by othersqualls of various colours. It thundered and lightened heavily for sixweeks. Hurricanes then set in for two months. Waterspouts and tornadoesfollowed. The oldest sailor on board--and he was a very old one--hadnever seen such weather. The Beauty lost all idea where she was, and thecarpenter reported six feet two of water in the hold. Everybody fellsenseless at the pumps every day.

  Provisions now ran very low. Our hero put the crew on short allowance,and put himself on shorter allowance than any man in the ship. But hisspirit kept him fat. In this extremity, the gratitude of Boozey, thecaptain of the foretop whom our readers may remember, was trulyaffecting. The loving though lowly William repeatedly requested to bekilled, and preserved for the captain's table.

  We now approach a change in affairs.

  One day during a gleam of sunshine and when the weather had moderated,the man at the masthead--too weak now to touch his hat, besides itshaving been blown away--called out,

  "Savages!"

  All was now expectation.

  Presently fifteen hundred canoes, each paddled by twenty savages, wereseen advancing in excellent order. They were a light green colour (theSavages were), and sang, with great energy, the following strain:

  Choo a choo a choo tooth. Muntch, muntch. Nycey! Choo a choo a choo tooth. Muntch, muntch. Nyce!

  As the shades of night were by this time closing in, these expressionswere supposed to embody this simple people's views of the Evening Hymn.But it too soon appeared that the song was a translation of "For whatwe are going to receive," &c.

  The chief, imposingly decorated with feathers of lively colours, andhaving the majestic appearance of a fighting Parrot, no soonerunderstood (he understood English perfectly) that the ship was TheBeauty, Captain Boldheart, than he fell upon his face on the deck, andcould not be persuaded to rise until the captain had lifted him up, &told him he wouldn't hurt him. All the rest of the savages also fell ontheir faces with marks of terror, and had also to be lifted up one byone. Thus the fame of the great Boldheart had gone before him, evenamong these children of Nature.

  Turtles and oysters were now produced in astonishing numbers, and onthese and yams the people made a hearty meal. After dinner the Chieftold Captain Boldheart that there was better feeding up at the village,and that he would be glad to take him and his officers there.Apprehensive of treachery, Boldheart ordered his boat's crew to attendhim completely armed. And well were it for other commanders if theirprecautions--but let us not anticipate.

  "Arm-in-arm with the Chief"]

  "TWO SAVAGES FLOURED HIM BEFORE PUTTING HIM TO THEFIRE."]

  When the canoes arrived at the beach, the darkness of the night wasillumined by the light of an immense fire. Ordering his boat's crew(with the intrepid though illiterate William at their head) to keepclose and be upon their guard, Boldheart bravely went on, arm-in-armwith the Chief.

  But how to depict the captain's surprise when he found a ring of Savagessinging in chorus that barbarous translation of "For what we are goingto receive, &c.," which has been given above, and dancing hand-in-handround the Latin-Grammar-Master, in a hamper with his head shaved, whiletwo savages floured him, before putting him to the fire to be cooked!

  Boldheart now took counsel with his officers on the course to beadopted. In the mean time, the miserable captive never ceased beggingpardon and imploring to be delivered. On the generous Boldheart'sproposal, it was at length resolved that he should not be cooked, butshould be allowed to remain raw, on two conditions. Namely,

  1. That he should never under any circumstances presume to teach any boy any thing any more.

  2. That, if taken back to England, he should pass his life in travelling to find out boys who wanted their exercises done, and should do their exercises for those boys for nothing, and never say a word about it.

  Drawing his sword from its sheath, Boldheart swore him to theseconditions on its shining blade. The prisoner wept bitterly, andappeared acutely to feel the errors of his past career.

  The captain then ordered his boat's crew to make ready for a volley, andafter firing to re-load quickly. "And expect a score or two on ye to gohead over heels," murmured William Boozey; "for I'm a looking at ye."With those words the derisive though deadly William took a good aim.

  "Fire!"

  The ringing voice of Boldheart was lost in the report of the guns andthe screeching of the savages. Volley after volley awakened the numerousechoes. Hundreds of savages were killed, hundreds wounded, and thousandsran howling into the woods. The Latin-Grammar-Master had a sparenight-cap lent him, and a longtail coat which he wore hind sidebefore. He presented a ludicrous though pitiable appearance, and servehim right.

  "THE LATIN-GRAMMAR-MASTER HAD A SPARE NIGHTCAP LENT HIMAND A LONGTAIL COAT WHICH HE WORE HIND SIDE BEFORE."]

  "ERE THE SUN WENT DOWN FULL MANY A HORNPIPE HAD BEENDANCED ... BY THE UNCOUTH THOUGH AGILE WILLIAM."]

  We now find Captain Boldheart, with this rescued wretch on board,standing off for other islands. At one of these, not a cannibal island,but a pork and vegetable one, he married (only in fun on his part) theKing's daughter. Here he rested some time, receiving from the nativesgreat quantities of precious stones, gold dust, elephants' teeth, andsandal wood, and getting very rich. This, too, though he almost everyday made presents of enormous value to his men.

  The ship being at length as full as she could hold of all sorts ofvaluable things, Boldheart gave orders to weigh the anchor, and turn theBeauty's head towards England. These orders were obeyed with threecheers, and ere the sun went down full many a hornpipe had been dancedon deck by the uncouth though agile William.

  We next find Captain Boldheart about three leagues off Madeira,surveying through his spy-glass a stranger of suspicious appearancemaking sail towards him. On his firing a gun ahead of her to bringher to, she ran up a flag, which he instantly recognized as the flagfrom the mast in the back-garden at home.

  "Married the Chief's daughter"]

  Inferring from this, that his father had put to sea to seek hislong-lost son, the captain sent his own boat on board the stranger, toinquire if this was so, and if so, whether his father's intentions werestrictly honoura
ble. The boat came back with a present of greens andfresh meat, and reported that the stranger was The Family of twelvehundred tons, and had not only the captain's father on board, but alsohis mother, with the majority of his aunts and uncles, and all hiscousins. It was further reported to Boldheart that the whole of theserelations had expressed themselves in a becoming manner, and wereanxious to embrace him and thank him for the glorious credit he had donethem. Boldheart at once invited them to breakfast next morning on boardthe Beauty, and gave orders for a brilliant ball that should last allday.

  It was in the course of the night that the captain discovered thehopelessness of reclaiming the Latin-Grammar-Master. That thanklesstraitor was found out, as the two ships lay near each other,communicating with The Family by signals, and offering to give upBoldheart. He was hanged at the yard-arm the first thing in the morning,after having it impressively pointed out to him by Boldheart that thiswas what spiters came to.

  The meeting between the captain and his parents was attended with tears.His uncles and aunts would have attended their meeting with tears too,but he wasn't going to stand that. His cousins were very much astonishedby the size of his ship and the discipline of his men, and were greatlyovercome by the splendour of his uniform. He kindly conducted them roundthe vessel, and pointed out every thing worthy of notice. He also firedhis hundred guns, and found it amusing to witness their alarm.

  The entertainment surpassed everything ever seen on board ship, andlasted from ten in the morning until seven the next morning. Only onedisagreeable incident occurred. Captain Boldheart found himself obligedto put his cousin Tom in irons, for being disrespectful. On the boy'spromising amendment, however, he was humanely released after a fewhours'