The Posthumous Papers of the Pickwick Club, v. 2 (of 2) Read online

  CHAPTER IX

  _Honourably accounts for Mr. Weller's Absence, by describing a Soiree to which he was invited and went; also relates how he was entrusted by Mr. Pickwick with a Private Mission of Delicacy and Importance_

  "Mr. Weller," said Mrs. Craddock, upon the morning of this veryeventful day, "here's a letter for you."

  "Wery odd that," said Sam, "I'm afeerd there must be somethin'the matter, for I don't recollect any gen'l'm'n in my circle ofacquaintance as is capable o' writin' one."

  "Perhaps something uncommon has taken place," observed Mrs. Craddock.

  "It must be somethin' wery uncommon indeed, as could produce a letterout o' any friend o' mine," replied Sam, shaking his head dubiously;"nothin' less than a nat'ral conwulsion, as the young gen'l'm'nobserved ven he was took with fits. It can't be from the gov'ner,"said Sam, looking at the direction. "He always prints, I know, 'cos helearnt writin' from the large bills in the bookin' offices. It's a werystrange thing now, where this here letter can ha' come from."

  As Sam said this, he did what a great many people do when they areuncertain about the writer of a note,--looked at the seal, and then atthe front, and then at the back, and then at the sides, and then at thesuperscription; and, as a last resource, thought perhaps he might aswell look at the inside, and try to find out from that.

  "It's wrote on gilt-edged paper," said Sam, as he unfolded it, "andsealed in bronze vax with the top of a door-key. Now for it." And,with a very grave face, Mr. Weller slowly read as follows:

  "A select company of the Bath footmen presents their compliments toMr. Weller, and requests the pleasure of his company this evening,to a friendly swarry, consisting of a boiled leg of mutton with theusual trimmings. The swarry to be on table at half-past nine o'clockpunctually."

  This was enclosed in another note, which ran thus--

  "Mr. John Smauker, the gentleman who had the pleasure of meeting Mr. Weller at the house of their mutual acquaintance, Mr. Bantam, a few days since, begs to inclose Mr. Weller the herewith invitation. If Mr. Weller will call on Mr. John Smauker at nine o'clock, Mr. John Smauker will have the pleasure of introducing Mr. Weller.

  (Signed) +John Smauker+."

  The envelope was directed to blank Weller, Esq., at Mr. Pickwick's; andin a parenthesis, in the left-hand corner, were the words "airy bell,"as an instruction to the bearer.

  "Vell," said Sam, "this is comin' it rayther powerful, this is. I neverheerd a biled leg of mutton called a swarry afore. I wonder wot they'dcall a roast one?"

  However, without waiting to debate the point, Sam at once betookhimself into the presence of Mr. Pickwick, and requested leave ofabsence for that evening, which was readily granted. With thispermission, and the street-door key, Sam Weller issued forth a littlebefore the appointed time, and strolled leisurely towards Queen Square,which he no sooner gained than he had the satisfaction of beholding Mr.John Smauker leaning his powdered head against a lamp-post at a shortdistance off, smoking a cigar through an amber tube.

  "How do you do, Mr. Weller?" said Mr. John Smauker, raising hishat gracefully with one hand, while he gently waved the other in acondescending manner. "How do you do, sir?"

  "Why, reasonably conwalessent," replied Sam. "How do _you_ findyourself, my dear feller?"

  "Only so so," said Mr. John Smauker.

  "Ah, you've been a workin' too hard," observed Sam. "I was fearfulyou would; it won't do, you know; you must not give way to that 'ereuncompromisin' spirit o' your'n."

  "It's not so much that, Mr. Weller," replied Mr. John Smauker, "as badwine; I'm afraid I've been dissipating."

  "Oh! that's it, is it?" said Sam; "that's a wery bad complaint, that."

  "And yet the temptation, you see, Mr. Weller," observed Mr. JohnSmauker.

  "Ah, to be sure," said Sam.

  "Plunged into the very vortex of society, you know, Mr. Weller," saidMr. John Smauker with a sigh.

  "Dreadful indeed!" rejoined Sam.

  "But it's always the way," said Mr. John Smauker; "if your destinyleads you into public life, and public station, you must expect to besubjected to temptations which other people is free from, Mr. Weller."

  "Precisely what my uncle said, ven _he_ vent into the public line,"remarked Sam, "and wery right the old gen'l'm'n wos, for he drankhisself to death in somethin' less than a quarter."

  Mr. John Smauker looked deeply indignant at any parallel being drawnbetween himself and the deceased gentleman in question; but as Sam'sface was in the most immovable state of calmness, he thought better ofit, and looked affable again.

  "Perhaps we had better be walking," said Mr. Smauker, consulting acopper timepiece which dwelt at the bottom of a deep watch-pocket, andwas raised to the surface by means of a black string, with a copper keyat the other end.

  "Perhaps we had," replied Sam, "or they'll overdo the swarry, andthat'll spile it."

  "Have you drank the waters, Mr. Weller?" inquired his companion, asthey walked towards High Street.

  "Once," replied Sam.

  "What did you think of 'em, sir?"

  "I thought they wos particklery unpleasant," replied Sam.

  "Ah," said Mr. John Smauker, "you disliked the killibeate taste,perhaps?"

  "I don't know much about that 'ere," said Sam. "I thought they'd a werystrong flavour o' warm flat-irons."

  "That _is_ the killibeate, Mr. Weller," observed Mr. John Smauker,contemptuously.

  "Well, if it is, it's a wery inexpressive word, that's all," said Sam."It may be, but I ain't much in the chimical line myself, so I can'tsay." And here, to the great horror of Mr. John Smauker, Sam Wellerbegan to whistle.

  _And here, to the great horror of Mr. John Smauker, SamWeller began to whistle._]

  "I beg your pardon, Mr. Weller," said Mr. John Smauker, agonised at theexceedingly ungenteel sound, "will you take my arm?"

  "Thankee, you're wery good, but I won't deprive you of it," repliedSam. "I've rayther a way o' puttin' my hands in my pockets, if it's allthe same to you." As Sam said this, he suited the action to the word,and whistled far louder than before.

  "This way," said his new friend, apparently much relieved as theyturned down a by-street; "we shall soon be there."

  "Shall we?" said Sam, quite unmoved by the announcement of his closevicinity to the select footmen of Bath.

  "Yes," said Mr. John Smauker. "Don't be alarmed, Mr. Weller."

  "Oh no," said Sam.

  "You'll see very handsome uniforms, Mr. Weller," continued Mr. JohnSmauker; "and perhaps you'll find some of the gentlemen rather high atfirst, you know, but they'll soon come round."

  "That's wery kind on 'em," replied Sam.

  "And you know," resumed Mr. John Smauker, with an air of sublimeprotection; "you know, as you're a stranger, perhaps they'll be ratherhard upon you at first."

  "They won't be wery cruel, though, will they?" inquired Sam.

  "No, no," replied Mr. John Smauker, pulling forth the fox's head andtaking a gentlemanly pinch. "There are some funny dogs among us, andthey will have their joke, you know: but you mustn't mind 'em, youmustn't mind 'em."

  "I'll try and bear up agin such a reg'lar knock-down o' talent,"replied Sam.

  "That's right," said Mr. John Smauker, putting up the fox's head andelevating his own; "I'll stand by you."

  By this time they had reached a small greengrocer's shop, which Mr.John Smauker entered, followed by Sam: who, the moment he got behindhim, relapsed into a series of the very broadest and most unmitigatedgrins, and manifested other demonstrations of being in a highlyenviable state of inward merriment.

  Crossing the greengrocer's shop, and putting their hats on the stairsin the little passage behind it, they walked into a small parlour; andhere the full splendour of the scene burst upon Mr. Weller's view.

  A couple of tables were put together in the middle of the parlour,covered with three or four cloths of different ages and dates ofwashing, arranged to look as much like one as the circumstances ofthe
case would allow. Upon these were laid knives and forks for sixor eight people. Some of the knife handles were green, others red,and a few yellow; and as all the forks were black, the combination ofcolours was exceedingly striking. Plates for a corresponding number ofguests were warming behind the fender; and the guests themselves werewarming before it: the chief and most important of whom appeared to bea stoutish gentleman in a bright crimson coat with long tails, vividlyred breeches, and a cocked hat, who was standing with his back to thefire and had apparently just entered, for besides retaining his cockedhat on his head, he carried in his hand a high stick, such as gentlemenof his profession usually elevate in a sloping position over the roofsof carriages.

  "Smauker, my lad, your fin," said the gentleman with the cocked hat.

  Mr. Smauker dovetailed the top joint of his right-hand little fingerinto that of the gentleman with the cocked hat and said he was charmedto see him looking so well.

  "Well, they tell me I am looking pretty blooming," said the man withthe cocked hat, "and it's a wonder, too. I've been following our oldwoman about, two hours a day, for the last fortnight; and if a constantcontemplation of the manner in which she hooks-and-eyes that infernalold lavender-coloured gown of hers behind, isn't enough to throwanybody into a low state of despondency for life, stop my quarter'ssalary."

  At this, the assembled selections laughed very heartily; and onegentleman in a yellow waistcoat, with a coach-trimming border,whispered a neighbour in green-foil smalls, that Tuckle was in spiritsto-night.

  "By-the-bye," said Mr. Tuckle, "Smauker, my boy, you--" The remainderof the sentence was forwarded into Mr. John Smauker's ear, by whisper.

  "Oh, dear me, I quite forgot," said Mr. John Smauker. "Gentlemen, myfriend Mr. Weller."

  "Sorry to keep the fire off you, Weller," said Mr. Tuckle, with afamiliar nod. "Hope you're not cold, Weller?"

  "Not by no means, Blazes," replied Sam. "It 'ud be a wery chillysubject as felt cold ven you stood opposit. You'd save coals if theyput you behind the fender in the waitin' room at a public office, youwould."

  As this retort appeared to convey rather a personal allusion to Mr.Tuckle's crimson livery, that gentleman looked majestic for a fewseconds, but gradually edging away from the fire, broke into a forcedsmile, and said it wasn't bad.

  "Wery much obliged for your good opinion, sir," replied Sam. "We shallget on by degrees, I des-say. We'll try a better one, by-and-by."

  At this point the conversation was interrupted by the arrival of agentleman in orange-coloured plush, accompanied by another selection inpurple cloth, with a great extent of stocking. The new comers havingbeen welcomed by the old ones, Mr. Tuckle put the question that supperbe ordered in, which was carried unanimously.

  The greengrocer and his wife then arranged upon the table a boiledleg of mutton, hot, with caper sauce, turnips, and potatoes. Mr.Tuckle took the chair, and was supported at the other end of the boardby the gentleman in orange plush. The greengrocer put on a pair ofwash-leather gloves to hand the plates with, and stationed himselfbehind Mr. Tuckle's chair.

  "Harris," said Mr. Tuckle in a commanding tone.

  "Sir?" said the greengrocer.

  "Have you got your gloves on?"

  "Yes, sir."

  "Then take the kiver off."

  "Yes, sir."

  The greengrocer did as he was told, with a show of great humility, andobsequiously handed Mr. Tuckle the carving knife; in doing which, heaccidentally gaped.

  "What do you mean by that, sir?" said Mr. Tuckle, with great asperity.

  "I beg your pardon, sir," replied the crestfallen greengrocer, "I din'tmean to do it, sir; I was up very late last night, sir."

  "I tell you what my opinion of you is, Harris," said Mr. Tuckle with amost impressive air, "you're a wulgar beast."

  "I hope, gentlemen," said Harris, "that you won't be severe with me,gentlemen. I'm very much obliged to you indeed, gentlemen, for yourpatronage, and also for your recommendations, gentlemen, wheneveradditional assistance in waiting is required. I hope, gentlemen, I givesatisfaction."

  "No, you don't, sir," said Mr. Tuckle. "Very far from it, sir."

  "We consider you an inattentive reskel," said the gentleman in theorange plush.

  "And a low thief," added the gentleman in the green-foil smalls.

  "And an unreclaimable blaygaird," added the gentleman in purple.

  The poor greengrocer bowed very humbly while these little epithets werebestowed upon him, in the true spirit of the very smallest tyranny; andwhen everybody had said something to show his superiority, Mr. Tuckleproceeded to carve the leg of mutton, and to help the company.

  This important business of the evening had hardly commenced, when thedoor was thrown briskly open, and another gentleman in a light bluesuit, and leaden buttons, made his appearance.

  "Against the rules," said Mr. Tuckle. "Too late, too late."

  "No, no; positively I couldn't help it," said the gentleman in blue."I appeal to the company. An affair of gallantry now, an appointment atthe theayter."

  "Oh, that indeed," said the gentleman in the orange plush.

  "Yes; raly now, honour bright," said the man in blue. "I made a promeseto fetch our youngest daughter at half-past ten, and she is such anuncauminly fine gal, that I raly hadn't the art to disappoint her. Nooffence to the present company, sir, but a petticut, sir, a petticut,sir, is irrevokeable!"

  "I begin to suspect there's something in that quarter," said Tuckle,as the new-comer took his seat next Sam. "I've remarked once or twice,that she leans very heavy on your shoulder, when she gets in and out ofthe carriage."

  "Oh raly, raly, Tuckle, you shouldn't," said the man in blue. "It'snot fair. I may have said to one or two friends that she was a verydivine creechure, and had refused one or two offers without any hobvuscause, but--no, no, no, indeed, Tuckle--before strangers too--it's notright--you shouldn't. Delicacy, my dear friend, delicacy!" And the manin blue, pulling up his neckerchief, and adjusting his coat cuffs,nodded and frowned as if there were more behind, which he could say ifhe liked, but was bound in honour to suppress.

  The man in blue being a light-haired, stiff-necked, free and easysort of footman, with a swaggering air and pert face, had attractedMr. Weller's especial attention at first, but when he began to comeout in this way, Sam felt more than ever disposed to cultivate hisacquaintance; so he launched himself into the conversation at once,with characteristic independence.

  "Your health, sir," said Sam. "I like you conwersation much. I thinkit's wery pretty."

  At this the man in blue smiled, as if it were a compliment he was wellused to; but looked approvingly on Sam at the same time, and said hehoped he should be better acquainted with him, for without any flatteryat all, he seemed to have the makings of a very nice fellow about him,and to be just the man after his own heart.

  "You're wery good, sir," said Sam. "What a lucky feller you are!"

  "How do you mean?" inquired the gentleman in blue.

  "That 'ere young lady," replied Sam. "She knows wot's wot, she does.Ah! I see." Mr. Weller closed one eye, and shook his head from side toside, in a manner which was highly gratifying to the personal vanity ofthe gentleman in blue.

  "I'm afraid you're a cunning fellow, Mr. Weller," said that individual.

  "No, no," said Sam. "I leave all that 'ere to you. It's a great dealmore in your way than mine, as the gen'l'm'n on the right side o' thegarden vall said to the man on the wrong 'un, ven the mad bull wos acomin' up the lane."

  "Well, well, Mr. Weller," said the gentleman in blue, "I think she hasremarked my air and manner, Mr. Weller."

  "I should think she couldn't wery vell be off o' that," said Sam.

  "Have you any little thing of that kind in hand, sir?" inquired thefavoured gentleman in blue, drawing a toothpick from his waistcoatpocket.

  "Not exactly," said Sam. "There's no daughters at my place, else o'course I should ha' made up to vun on 'em. As it is, I don't think Ican do anything under a female mar
kis. I might take up vith a young'ooman o' large property, as hadn't a title, if she made wery fiercelove to me. Not else."

  "Of course not, Mr. Weller," said the gentleman in blue, "one can't betroubled, you know; and _we_ know, Mr. Weller--we, who are men of theworld--that a good uniform must work its way with the women, sooner orlater. In fact, that's the only thing, between you and me, that makesthe service worth entering into."

  "Just so," said Sam. "That's it, o' course."

  When this confidential dialogue had gone thus far, glasses were placedround, and every gentleman ordered what he liked best, before thepublic-house shut up. The gentleman in blue, and the man in orange, whowere the chief exquisites of the party, ordered "cold scrub and water,"but with the others, gin and water, sweet, appeared to be the favouritebeverage. Sam called the greengrocer a "desp'rate willin," and ordereda large bowl of punch: two circumstances which seemed to raise him verymuch in the opinion of the selections.

  "Gentlemen," said the man in blue, with an air of the most consummatedandyism, "I'll give you 'The ladies'; come."

  "Hear, hear!" said Sam, "The young mississes."

  Here there was a loud cry of "Order," and Mr. John Smauker, as thegentleman who had introduced Mr. Weller into that company, begged toinform him that the word he had just made use of was unparliamentary.

  "Which word was that 'ere, sir?" inquired Sam.

  "Missesses, sir," replied Mr. John Smauker, with an alarming frown. "Wedon't recognise such distinctions here."

  "Oh, wery good," said Sam; "then I'll amend the observation, and call'em the dear creeturs, if Blazes vill allow me."

  Some doubt appeared to exist in the mind of the gentleman in thegreen-foil smalls, whether the chairman could be legally appealed to,as "Blazes," but as the company seemed more disposed to stand upontheir own rights than his, the question was not raised. The man withthe cocked hat breathed short, and looked long at Sam, but apparentlythought it as well to say nothing, in case he should get the worst ofit.

  After a short silence, a gentleman in an embroidered coat reaching downto his heels, and a waistcoat of the same which kept one half of hislegs warm, stirred his gin and water with great energy, and puttinghimself upon his feet, all at once, by a violent effort, said he wasdesirous of offering a few remarks to the company: whereupon the personin the cocked hat had no doubt that the company would be very happy tohear any remarks that the man in the long coat might wish to offer.

  "I feel a great delicacy, gentlemen, in coming for'ard," said the manin the long coat, "having the misforchune to be a coachman, and beingadmitted as a honorary member of these agreeable swarrys, but I dofeel myself bound, gentlemen--drove into a corner, if I may use theexpression--to make known an afflicting circumstance which has cometo my knowledge; which has happened I may say within the soap of myeveryday contemplation. Gentlemen, our friend Mr. Whiffers (everybodylooked at the individual in orange), our friend Mr. Whiffers hasresigned."

  Universal astonishment fell upon the hearers. Each gentleman looked inhis neighbour's face, and then transferred his glance to the upstandingcoachman.

  "You may well be sapparised, gentlemen," said the coachman. "I will notwenchure to state the reasons of this irrepairabel loss to the service,but I will beg Mr. Whiffers to state them himself, for the improvementand imitation of his admiring friends."

  The suggestion being loudly approved of, Mr. Whiffers explained. Hesaid he certainly could have wished to have continued to hold theappointment he had just resigned. The uniform was extremely rich andexpensive, the females of the family was most agreeable, and the dutiesof the situation was not, he was bound to say, too heavy: the principalservice that was required of him, being, that he should look out of thehall window as much as possible, in company with another gentleman, whohad also resigned. He could have wished to have spared that companythe painful and disgusting detail on which he was about to enter, butas the explanation had been demanded of him, he had no alternative butto state, boldly and distinctly, that he had been required to eat coldmeat.

  It is impossible to conceive the disgust which this avowal awakened inthe bosoms of the hearers. Loud cries of "Shame!" mingled with groansand hisses, prevailed for a quarter of an hour.

  Mr. Whiffers then added that he feared a portion of this outrage mightbe traced to his own forbearing and accommodating disposition. He hada distinct recollection of having once consented to eat salt butter,and he had, moreover, on an occasion of sudden sickness in the house,so far forgotten himself as to carry a coal-scuttle up to the secondfloor. He trusted he had not lowered himself in the good opinion ofhis friends by this frank confession of his faults; and he hoped thepromptness with which he had resented the last unmanly outrage on hisfeelings, to which he had referred, would reinstate him in their goodopinion, if he had.

  Mr. Whiffers' address was responded to with a shout of admiration, andthe health of the interesting martyr was drunk in a most enthusiasticmanner; for this, the martyr returned thanks, and proposed theirvisitor, Mr. Weller; a gentleman whom he had not the pleasure ofan intimate acquaintance with, but who was the friend of Mr. JohnSmauker, which was a sufficient letter of recommendation to any societyof gentlemen whatever, or wherever. On this account, he should havebeen disposed to have given Mr. Weller's health with all the honours,if his friends had been drinking wine; but as they were taking spiritsby way of a change, and as it might be inconvenient to empty a tumblerat every toast, he should propose that the honours be understood.

  At the conclusion of this speech, everybody took a sip in honour ofSam; and Sam having ladled out, and drunk, two full glasses of punch inhonour of himself, returned thanks in a neat speech.

  "Wery much obliged to you, old fellers," said Sam, ladling away atthe punch in the most unembarrassed manner possible, "for this herecompliment; wich, comin' from sich a quarter, is wery overvelmin'.I've heerd a good deal on you as a body, but I will say, that I neverthought you was sich uncommon nice men as I find you air. I onlyhope you'll take care o' yourselves, and not compromise nothin' o'your dignity, which is a wery charmin' thing to see, when one's outa walkin', and has always made me wery happy to look at, ever sinceI was a boy about half as high as the brass-headed stick o' my weryrespectable friend, Blazes, there. As to the wictim of oppression inthe suit o' brimstone, all I can say of him, is, that I hope he'll getjist as good a berth as he deserves: in vich case it's wery little coldswarry as ever he'll be troubled with agin."

  Here Sam sat down with a pleasant smile, and his speech having beenvociferously applauded, the company broke up.

  "Vy, you don't mean to say you're a goin', old feller?" said Sam Wellerto his friend Mr. John Smauker.

  "I must indeed," said Mr. Smauker; "I promised Bantam."

  "Oh, wery well," said Sam; "that's another thing. P'raps _he'd_ resignif you disappointed him. You ain't a goin', Blazes?"

  "Yes, I am," said the man with the cocked hat.

  "Wot, and leave three quarters of a bowl of punch behind you!" saidSam; "nonsense, set down agin."

  Mr. Tuckle was not proof against this invitation. He laid aside thecocked hat and stick which he had just taken up, and said he would haveone glass, for good fellowship's sake.

  As the gentleman in blue went home the same way as Mr. Tuckle, he wasprevailed upon to stop too. When the punch was about half gone, Samordered in some oysters from the greengrocer's shop; and the effect ofboth was so extremely exhilarating, that Mr. Tuckle, dressed out withthe cocked hat and stick, danced the frog hornpipe among the shells onthe table; while the gentleman in blue played an accompaniment upon aningenious musical instrument formed of a hair-comb and a curl-paper.At last, when the punch was all gone, and the night nearly so, theysallied forth to see each other home. Mr. Tuckle no sooner got intothe open air, than he was seized with a sudden desire to lie on thecurb-stone; Sam thought it would be a pity to contradict him, and solet him have his own way. As the cocked hat would have been spoilt ifleft there, Sam very considerately flattened it down o
n the head of thegentleman in blue, and putting the big stick in his hand, propped himup against his own street door, rang the bell, and walked quietly home.

  At a much earlier hour next morning than his usual time of rising, Mr.Pickwick walked down-stairs completely dressed and rang the bell.

  "Sam," said Mr. Pickwick, when Mr. Weller appeared in reply to thesummons, "shut the door."

  Mr. Weller did so.

  "There was an unfortunate occurrence here last night, Sam," said Mr.Pickwick, "which gave Mr. Winkle some cause to apprehend violence fromMr. Dowler."

  "So I've heerd from the old lady down-stairs, sir," replied Sam.

  "And I'm sorry to say, Sam," continued Mr. Pickwick, with a mostperplexed countenance, "that in dread of this violence, Mr. Winkle hasgone away."

  "Gone avay!" said Sam.

  "Left the house early this morning, without the slightest previouscommunication with me," replied Mr. Pickwick, "And is gone, I know notwhere."

  "He should ha' stopped and fought it out, sir," replied Sam,contemptuously. "It wouldn't take much to settle that 'ere Dowler,sir."

  "Well, Sam," said Mr. Pickwick, "I may have my doubts of his greatbravery and determination, also. But, however that may be, Mr. Winkleis gone. He must be found, Sam. Found and brought back to me."

  "And s'pose he won't come back, sir?" said Sam.

  "He must be made, Sam," said Mr. Pickwick.

  "Who's to do it, sir?" inquired Sam, with a smile.

  "You," replied Mr. Pickwick.

  "Wery good, sir."

  With these words Mr. Weller left the room, and immediately afterwardswas heard to shut the street door. In two hours' time he returned withas much coolness as if he had been despatched on the most ordinarymessage possible, and brought the information that an individual, inevery respect answering Mr. Winkle's description, had gone over toBristol that morning, by the branch coach from the Royal Hotel.

  "Sam," said Mr. Pickwick, grasping his hand, "you're a capital fellow;an invaluable fellow. You must follow him, Sam."

  "Cert'nly, sir," replied Mr. Weller.

  "The instant you discover him, write to me immediately, Sam," said Mr.Pickwick. "If he attempts to run away from you, knock him down, or lockhim up. You have my full authority, Sam."

  "I'll be wery careful, sir," rejoined Sam.

  "You'll tell him," said Mr. Pickwick, "that I am highly excited, highlydispleased, and naturally indignant, at the very extraordinary coursehe has thought proper to pursue."

  "I will, sir," replied Sam.

  "You'll tell him," said Mr. Pickwick, "that if he does not come back tothis very house, with you, he will come back with me, for I will comeand fetch him."

  "I'll mention that 'ere, sir," rejoined Sam.

  "You think you can find him, Sam?" said Mr. Pickwick, looking earnestlyin his face.

  "Oh, I'll find him, if he's anyvere," rejoined Sam, with greatconfidence.

  "Very well," said Mr. Pickwick. "Then the sooner you go the better."

  With these instructions Mr. Pickwick placed a sum of money in thehands of his faithful servitor, and ordered him to start for Bristolimmediately, in pursuit of the fugitive.

  Sam put a few necessaries in a carpet bag, and was ready for starting.He stopped when he had got to the end of the passage, and walkingquietly back, thrust his head in at the parlour door.

  "Sir," whispered Sam.

  "Well, Sam?" said Mr. Pickwick.

  "I fully understands my instructions, do I, sir?" inquired Sam.

  "I hope so," said Mr. Pickwick.

  "It's reg'larly understood about the knockin' down, is it, sir?"inquired Sam.

  "Perfectly," replied Mr. Pickwick. "Thoroughly. Do what you thinknecessary. You have my orders."

  Sam gave a nod of intelligence, and withdrawing his head from the door,set forth on his pilgrimage with a light heart.