Bardell v. Pickwick Read online

  THE INCRIMINATING LETTERS.

  "I shall prove to you, gentlemen, that _about a year ago Pickwicksuddenly began to absent himself from home_, during long intervals, ('onPickwick Tours,') _as if with the intention of breaking off from myclient_: but I shall show you also that his resolutions were not at thattime sufficiently strong, or that his better feelings conquered, _ifbetter feelings he has_: or that the charms and accomplishments of myclient prevailed against his unmanly intentions." We may note thereserve which suggested a struggle going on in Mr. Pickwick. And howpersuasive is Buzfuz's _exegesis_! Then, on the letters:

  "These letters bespeak the character of the man. They are not open,fervid, eloquent epistles breathing nothing but the language ofaffectionate attachment. They are _covert_, _sly_, under-handcommunications, but, fortunately, far more conclusive than if couched inthe most glowing language. _Letters that must be viewed with a cautiousand supicious eye_: _letters that were evidently intended at the time_,_by Pickwick_, _to mislead and delude any third parties into whose handsthey might fall_." The gravity and persuasiveness of all this is really_impayable_. "Let me read the first: 'Garraway's, twelve o'clock. DearMrs. B., Chops and tomato sauce. Yours, Pickwick.' Gentlemen, what doesthis mean? Chops and tomato sauce. Yours, Pickwick. Chops! GraciousHeavens!--and tomato sauce! Gentlemen, is the happiness of a sensitiveand confiding female _to be trifled_ away by such artifices as these?_The next has no date_ _whatever which is in itself suspicious_: 'DearMrs. B., I shall not be at home until to-morrow. Slow coach.' And thenfollows the very remarkable expression, 'Don't trouble yourself about thewarming pan.'"

  There is a little bit of serious history connected with these letterswhich I was the first I think to discover. They were intended tosatirise the trivial scraps brought forward in Mrs. Norton's matrimonialcase--Norton _v._ Lord Melbourne. My late friend, "Charles Dickens theyounger," as he used to call himself, in his notes on _Pickwick_, putsaside this theory altogether as a mere unfounded fancy; but it will beseen there cannot be a doubt in the matter. Sir W. Follett laid just asmuch stress on these scraps as Serjeant Buzfuz did on his: he even usedthe phrase, "it seems there may be latent love like latent heat, in theseproductions." We have also, "Yours Melbourne," like "Yours Pickwick,"the latter signing as though he were a Peer. "There is another of thesenotes," went on Sir William, "How are you?" "Again there is no beginningyou see." "The next has no date, which is in itself suspicious," Buzfuzwould have added. Another ran--"I will call about half past four,Yours." "_These_ are the only notes that have been found," added thecounsel, with due gravity, "_they seem to import much more than merewords convey_." After this can there be a doubt?

  This case was tried in June, 1836, and, it must be borne in mind, causeda prodigious sensation all over the Kingdom. The Pickwick part,containing the description, appeared about December, six monthsafterwards. Only old people may recall Norton _v._ Melbourne, the fairCaroline's wrongs have long been forgotten; but it is curious that thememory of it should have been kept alive in some sort by this farcicalparody. Equally curious is it that the public should always haveinsisted that she was the heroine of yet another story, George Meredith's_Diana_, though the author has disclaimed it over and over again.

  The Serjeant's dealing with the warming pan topic is a truly admirablesatiric touch, and not one bit far-fetched or exaggerated. Any onefamiliar with suspicious actions has again and again heard comments asplausible and as forced. "Don't trouble yourself about the warming pan!The warming pan! Why, gentlemen, who _does_ trouble himself about awarming pen?" A delicious _non sequitur_, sheer nonsense, and yet withan air of conviction that is irresistable. "When was the peace of mindof man or woman broken or disturbed by a warming pan which is in itself aharmless, a useful _and I will add_, _gentlemen_, a comforting article ofdomestic furniture?" He then goes on ingeniously to suggest that it maybe "a cover for hidden fire, a mere substitute for some endearing word orpromise, _agreeably to a preconcerted system_ of correspondence, artfullycontrived by Pickwick _with a view_ to his contemplated desertion andwhich I am not in a position to explain?" Admirable indeed! One couldimagine a city jury in their wisdom thinking that there must be_something_ in this warming pan!

  Not less amusing and plausible is his dealing with the famous topic ofthe "chops and tomato sauce," not "tomata" as Boz has it. I supposethere is no popular allusion better understood than this. The very manin the street knows all about it and what it means. Absurd as it mayseem, it is hardly an exaggeration. Counsel every day give weight topoints just as trivial and expound them elaborately to the jury. TheSerjeant's burst of horror is admirable, "Gentlemen, _what does thismean_? 'Chops and tomata sauce! Yours Pickwick!' Chops! GraciousHeavens! What does this mean? Is the happiness of a sensitive andconfiding female to be trifled away _by such shallow artifices asthese_?'"

  I recall that admirable judge and pleasant man, the late Lord FitzGerald,who was fond of talking of this trial, saying to me that Buzfuz lost agood point here, as he might have dwelt on the mystic meaning of tomatowhich is the "love apple," that here was the "secret correspondence," thereal "cover for hidden fire."

  He concluded by demanding exemplary damages as "the recompense you canaward my client. And for these damages she now appeals to anenlightened, a high-minded, a right feeling, a conscientious, adispassionate, a sympathising, a contemplative jury of her civilizedcountrymen!"